Feeling Safe Through Big Changes
"When people help me understand what's coming, my brain feels much calmer."
How to use this page
Big changes can bring big feelings. Whether it's moving to a new house, starting a new school, meeting a new teacher, or changing routines, people with FASD often need extra time, preparation, and support. This page will help you understand why change can feel so overwhelming and show you practical ways to help everyone feel safe through life's transitions.
What might be happening
Big Changes Can Bring Big Feelings
You might see:
- crying
- refusing to go
- asking the same questions
- becoming clingy
- trouble sleeping
- stomach aches
- becoming angry
- shutting down
- acting younger than usual
These behaviours don't tell the whole story.
They may actually be feeling:
- uncertain
- worried
- overwhelmed
- sad
- confused
- afraid of the unknown
- grieving what is changing
Remember
People with FASD aren't usually resisting the change.
They're trying to make sense of it.
What this might feel like:
"I know everyone says it's going to be okay... but my brain keeps wondering...
'What if it isn't?'"
Why this happens
Change Is Hard for the FASD Brain
People with FASD often depend on routines and familiar people because they help the world feel predictable.
When something changes, they may struggle with:
- imagining what comes next
- understanding new routines
- trusting unfamiliar people
- switching expectations
- managing uncertainty
- processing lots of new information at once
Before We Respond
Ask these questions first→
Could they be:
✓ worried about the unknown?
✓ missing something familiar?
✓ overwhelmed?
✓ needing more information?
✓ processing the change more slowly?
✓ grieving what they're leaving behind?
✓ needing more time?
This simple checklist can change how caregivers interpret behaviour
What to do
Three steps to move through together, in order — before any teaching or problem-solving happens.
1Prepare EarlyPeople with FASD feel safer when they know what's coming.
Whenever possible:
- talk about the change ahead of time
- visit new places
- meet new people
- look at pictures
- read stories
- make calendars
What to say:
"Let's look at pictures of your new classroom."
"We'll visit before your first day."
"We'll learn about this together."
2Validate Their FeelingsBig changes bring lots of emotions.
They don't need to be talked out of them.
They need to know they're understood.
What to Say
"It's okay to feel nervous."
"I would probably have lots of questions too."
"You can feel excited and worried at the same time."
"We'll figure it out together."
3Build New RoutinesThe sooner people with FASD know what to expect, the safer they often feel.
Create new routines.
Practice together.
Repeat often.
Celebrate small successes.
What To Say
"Let's practice what tomorrow will look like."
"Would it help if we made a picture schedule?"
What Does This Look Like?
Here is a real-life example:
Situation
Starting a new school.
What You See
- refusing to get out of the car
- crying
- saying "I don't want to go."
What's Happening
- fear of the unknown
- uncertainty
- sensory worries
- missing familiar teachers
- overwhelmed by change
Helpful Response
- Visit the school ahead of time.
- Meet the teacher.
- Take pictures together.
- Practice the morning routine.
- Use a countdown calendar.
- Celebrate getting through the first day.
Let's build a plan
Circle of Care
Share with
- teachers
- grandparents
- support workers
- babysitters
- respite providers
- school staff
People supporting me should know
✓ what changes are happening
✓ what worries me
✓ what helps me feel safe
✓ my routines
✓ how to reassure me
✓ what familiar supports I already use
Watch this together
Change can be scary when you focus on all the negative things that it can bring. But what if you focus on the positive? Gulliver and Emmet learn that ‘Bendy thinking’ can help decrease their worries about a new teacher- maybe it won’t be so bad after all.